For the last 50 years, my generation has been programmed to believe that achieving equality in the work force was the key to happiness, prosperity and self-fulfillment.
This summer I read a book entitled, “To Be A Mother.” The author (Deanna Jones) begins the first chapter with the story of her aunt asking her what she wanted to be when she grew up. As a six-year-old, the author replied, “I want to be a mommy.” The author then described her aunt’s negative reaction to her ‘mommy’ answer and how the aunt’s response caused her to rethink her dream of growing up to be a mommy.
I was reading the book because, after years of working with women who have aborted their babies, I believe the correlation between feminism, abortion, and the role of motherhood in our society needs further study as we seek to end abortion. What should be seen as the noblest job in the world, being a mom, nurturing life, is instead dismissed and devalued.
There is a subtle lack of respect for motherhood that becomes subtly apparent in certain situations. Many of us “Moms” have been out at a social event and had somebody ask, “What do you do?” When we respond with, “I’m a full-time, stay-at-home mom,” the person posing the question dismisses us from all future conversation! What message does this send to younger women, potential future mothers?
Recently, TIME Magazine did a front cover story entitled, “What Women Want Now” that featured the results of a survey on gender issues designed to assess feminism’s influence and impact in today’s society. Most of the data extrapolated from the survey compares women’s and men’s attitudes on their specific roles, with an emphasis on the jobs/responsibilities of mothers and fathers in today’s society.
Four points stood out for me:
Women still earn 77 cents on the dollar compared with men.
A majority of both men and women still say it is best for children to have a father working and a mother at home.
Women no longer view matrimony as a necessary station on the road to financial security or parenthood. The percentage of children born to single women has leaped from 12% to 39%.
As women have gained more freedom, more education and more economic power, they have become less happy.
But the best line in the whole story is by Pulitzer Prize winning journalist and bestselling author Susan Faludi, who is quoted in the article, saying, “The women’s movement wasn’t about happiness.”
For the last 50 years, my generation has been programmed to believe that achieving equality in the work force was the key to happiness, prosperity and self-fulfillment. Legalized abortion was supposed to be the great equalizer. Controlling our reproductive system would allow us to be seen as gender-neutral. Motherhood was holding us back from being all we could be!
So we compromised who we are as women, still haven’t achieved real equality, and are often both unhappy and childless. Or we are left wanting to be at home, but for a variety of reasons have no choice but to leave our kids in day-care while we go to work.
I hear the cries of thousands of women associated with the Silent No More Awareness Campaign (cosponsored by Anglicans for Life) and I see the broken hearts, empty arms, and destroyed spirits—the consequences of abortion. How sad that the 1960’s version of feminism ended up exploiting women and denying us the greatest blessing of Motherhood.
Restoring the value and honor of Motherhood is not going to end abortion, but I believe affirming it will be a huge step towards helping women reconnect with who we really are and who we want to be at our most basic level.
God knew what He was doing when He created women with the ability to nurture life. May we help the next generation reclaim and respect this gift of MOTHERHOOD!